Around town!

Been cooped up in the house for too long, here's a few out and about pics from my world:

A tiny fountain at the Abu Dhabi Corniche, that's absolutely lovely in the winters.

A dash of red amidst all the city-grey..

Rare, abstract sign art in Auh.

Driving into the Sunshine =D .. Dubai-Abu Dhabi Highway..

That's one long title for a movie! (in Malayalam I believe)

A construction site being fitted with designer panels that look like wedding brides with veils.

Quirky, damn-expensive socks I discovered while gift-shopping.

Quote plates at Gulf Greetings.

Quote plate with a point! (Gulf-Greetings)

I really like this teddy and he appears here as a stuffed toy.. with barely any eyes so he's almost Halal i guess =D

Creative advertising, much?

Genuinely cute trolley bag I discovered, at a tiny shop, near my place.

Like cold water on a warm heart..

Its that dreaded feeling.. the one that makes you cringe and shudder. I always speak out aloud to stop that train of thoughts.. something like " lalalala.. so what else is new?!" .. it makes many an outsider give me a quizzical look => did this lady just ask herself what else is new?! crazier than crazy i guess.. =D

Its the feeling I get lately, when I think of you. Because truely, genuinely.. I don't want you to become a memory, lying in the dust at the back of my mind.. People in your role, people like you, always have a great impact on their young ones. They tell me I was too young, they say its natural that I've a hard time remembering.

To be honest, it really seems insane to me. Like in this short number of years I've lived, YOU is who my brain decides to forget things about. Its like a constant fight between my mind and brain. The psychological existence needs to remember every bit.. The physical brain cells are giving up on their neural pathways. Its a defeat I would never want to accept.. Its a feeling I so totally dread. I don't want you to be a memory.
I'm trying my best to hold onto every bit I can think of.. yet somethings go missing that others need to bring back into my thoughts again.. I hate that.. you were as much mine as theirs. Why would they dwell in the sweetness of all that they hold within, while I search repeatedly for every bit all over again? Is it a little unfair I got the littlest of you..? Am I supposedly feeling deprived?

No, you would expect better of me than that. You would know I'm above and beyond that, you always were. I'm yours and you would expect the same, if not better, from me.

But let's be clear about one thing, I don't want to find you in the emptiness or lacking in others.. I don't want to feel you through your absence. I want your presence to feel like a fresh thought. I want that feeling and thought to be mine.

Dudey's Doodles II

A doodle with an explanation.. a labelled illustration, if you will.

Also, this may not be how I look like in the real world, but as Morpheus explained to Neo in the Matrix: 

"Your appearance now is what we call "residual self image". It is the mental projection of your digital self." ;-)

Nightly Demons.

Two little demons haunted me last night. Here's the results of those mental conversations:

"Do's and Don'ts"

Don't blow me a kiss,
I'll spit it out.
Don't whisper to me,
Unless you wanna hear me shout.
Don't gaze into my limpid pools,
I'll drown you instead.
Don't express your sentiments,
Unless you wanna lose your head.
Don't bring me your inner-most wounds to heal,
Unless its a bullet you want to feel.

DO look away from this worthless being.
unless you wish to become a part of what you're seeing.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Who's to say?"

Is it just me or did the fog in my head just expand?
Must I really experience life first hand?
Time and again, I find myself searching for the pause button.
Couldn't the "show" go on with a drawn curtain?
They say change is constant - it has no end,
Heck, why must time be thus spent?
They say life can't be lived in a box shut tight,
but what if within it my peace lies?
I could keep questioning every turn, skip and step,
But who's to say what I'll love, what I'll regret.

Dudey's Doodles I

A Dizzy Daze..

Round and round.. here's the spin.  I grab on tight till the very end. The floor goes up, the ceiling dives down. The whole wide world whirls around.
And when it stops, I smash into the glass. A pounding heart but silence atlast! The slide down, ever-so-soothing. Like flowing water, like dripping ink.

Not everlasting, its just a phase. Not a chaos, I'm in a dizzy daze.

A dear stranger indeed.

I've been on a journey of it all with you - the interests, the confessions, the heartfelt words, the genuine actions, the drama, the deceit, the lies, the justifications and now, the ending of a bond I was under the illusion existed. Might as well do the blog post =) This is Not a mental ranting that's bringing you shame or bringing me peace. Its a Record of all the words I would have said, had things not turned out the way they did, had you not become who you are and had you not made the choices you made.

I would have always wished you the best in life, for God to bless you with peace of mind and guidance towards true joy in this life and in the Eternal one.

I would have told you how much you are capable of achieving and all the good you have the potential to cause.
I would have hoped all your qualities make you create a wonderful presence in all the lives you know and love.

And with God as my witness, I still wish you all this and more.

I do not hate you for the choices you made.

But I do recognize you from these choices.  I recognize you for who you have become.

With a bond so intense, a relationship so close - with you and with my family - its inevitable that I figure things out gradually. You see the time I take to collect my thoughts as a lack of trust - What previous incident proves to you my disloyalty? When have I burdened you with dishonesty? Why must I recieve yours?

I cannot say that I'm sorry I'm more obliged to my loved ones then I'm to you. For I love them dearly, as I loved you, I did consider you family. But with the Almighty's grace, it is them I have a duty to love and protect. And I would make the same choice every time, God Willing.

Speaking of God, I called you "His cherished gift to me" once. No regrets. Just not the kind of gift I had foreseen. You have, single-handedly, taught me the meaning of the Hadith that says one shouldn't make a friend so close that they become an enemy.

Jazak Allah for every good intention you ever had towards me.

Good bye - Dear stranger,

May Allah bless you with the ability to chose the truth everytime. Ameen.