Flickering Faith.

(this was supposed to be posted last night but wasn't - courtesy: dudey's artistic instincts -_- )

My limbs didn't fall off today. My eyes didn't lose vision. I had no inclination to hurt myself or kill somebody else. I didn't get run over by a truck or watch a loved one die. My memory is intact and I didn't have to borrow a cigarette because I am addicted. I did not become obsessed with a celebrity neither did my mood swing into a bad one for no apparent reason. 

I had a genuinely average day which is an excellent experience, safe from all sort's of mental and physical dangers. (considering the odds - all of the above are possible, without prior warning).

Right at the beginning of this very day, I did my best to hurry through Prayer, just so I would get back to bed. 

Do you see it now?

My first gesture to the Source who ensures all remains well, was to hurry through His worship like I was doing Him a favour. 

YET, all remained well.

All remained exactly as it was yesterday or better, the only difference was that I was a little less thankful and a little more ignorant. That was my doing.

And This: Me, being all fine, being able to think articulate thoughts, type sensible sentences, live normally. 

This is His doing. 

Later in the day, as I stood on the Prayer mat a second time, my vision flickered for a moment. I wasn't sure if it had something to do with the light bulb in the room or the lack of healthy 'nutrients' in me but everything would vanish for a millisecond and then return. Again and again. 

Mid-prayer I slightly feared that the bulb would explode (as it once had earlier, much to my fascination) and as I was standing right underneath, I'd be toast. 

On the other hand, if this was my own weakness in health, than I'd be splat(!) on the floor soon, losing consciousness.

What I feared mostly was that, either ways, it was justified. What did I really do or feel to not deserve either of the two ordeals? 

All logic and 'justice' aside, it was My Lord's Unconditional Love and Mercy upon me that I completed my prayer and am still just as normal as ever.

There's a lesson of True Affection right there and I couldn't feel more Grateful to the Almighty to teach it to me, despite my flickering faith.